Hey Boston, You Suck

For being one of the "great" and "major" cities of the world, Boston is day by day becoming more and more awful. I barely live in this city, working 2 jobs almost an hour north, but I love my neighborhood and love my apartment and unless someone bought me a house next to the ocean, I wouldn't live anywhere else in MA. With that said, I want to discuss a few reasons why the city I live in is an absolute joke.

First, there are 3 places I know of where you can get food late at night. The tiny little South St. Diner - on a Friday or Saturday this place is a crowded awful mess. Next to it is News, serving food til 5am. Filled with Eurotrash, visiting celebs and other undesirables, I would rather go to a late night meal amongst hookers and crackheads at the diner than drunk pseudo socialites at News. The ihop near the highway in Brighton is also a good time. The food is obviously horrible, the clientele almost work (drunk college kids) and it's far from anywhere I personally need to be. There is some all night club Rise, which I'm sure i'll visit in my lifetime, but I think you might have to fail a drug test to get in the front door.

Second, Happy Hour. Happy Hour is illegal in the state of MA. No discounts on alcaholic beverages. You can discount food for "happy hour" but any fan of a 2 for 1 deal or half price cocktails KNOWS the discount on fucking wings and french fries is a lot less fun. Boston is a fairly expensive city, so a half price drink would be nice every now and then. I'd love to pay $3 or $4 for a vodka soda. While I understand WHY they would like to dwindle the number of late afternoon drunkards roaming the streets, I can only think of the black hole that is the deficit of this great state. If happy hour makes money, the state makes money. Why does MA hate money?

Third, this is unconfirmed but I heard that there will no longer be any 18+ club or dance nights at bars. This is to combat underage drinking and fun. While I don't really care or involve myself in the "dance" or "club" scenes in Boston, the population of this city is 50% college students. Students who maybe want to go have fun, dance...sounds crazy I know. When I heard about this, I couldn't believe it. So college freshmen and sophomores, If you want to go to a show at the House of Blues, you will apparently be regulated to the first floor - while all the drinkers are on the 2nd and 3rd, cause that is right, there is no alcohol allowed on the first floor apparently. That was a slight digression, but my point remains the same - Boston hates fun.

The T. This was one of my major qualms about this city from day one. The train stops running at 1230/1am every night. Bars close at either 1am or 2am, leaving the cities drunks to stumble home, take a cab, OR drive. If I wanted to go out downtown and have drinks until after 1am, to get home, I'd have to take a $20 cab ride (no way), walk home (wicked no way) OR drive. While I am a fairly responsible person, I have driven and will drive again with my alcohol level over the legal limit. I know my limits and ask anyone, get really drunk probably 5 times a year - but I only imagine all of the people less responsible, more drunk, hopping in their cars and driving away. It's scary and I've seen it with my very own eyes. Nevermind the drunk people, what about the people that have to go to work at 3 or 4am, or come home from work that late. The bartenders, and graveyard shift workers of the world are left without any public transportation.

The radio. Radio in this city BLOWS, with the exception of the NPR station WBUR and the scattered college stations, WERS is obviously the best radio station ever. BUT in regards to commercial radio, sure, it sucks everywhere, but at least there is some diverse programming. Want to hear hip hop - you can tune into ONE frequency (and WERS week nights ). The ONE hip hop station now plays lady gaga and britney spears and is way behind what is going on in the rest of the world. Even a small city like Richmond, VA has more than one "urban" station who is way more ahead of the game than anyone in boston. CBS just cut WBCN, the longest running alternative station. there is WAAF, nu metal central and WFNX - weird indie /alt rock that doesn't have an incredibly strong signal. There are a few classic rock stations within range, a gaggle of soft rock and Kiss 108 the leader in Top 40 (mostly awful). For a city this size that can boast and brag about local music and a great "scene" and all that garbage, it is NOT represented on the radio. The exception being WERS which is really the only outlet for local and independent music.

There is no The Onion distribution in Boston - LAME

There are 3 vegetarian restaurants. One sells overpriced sub shop food that isn't very good and 2 are asian cuisine that gets old after a while.

There are no great and consistent venues for hardcore shows.

No 24hr Gym

Sub par fashion/shopping scene

Okay, rant over. Sure, there are a lot of great things about boston but this wasn't a "why boston rules" entry - it's a why boston sucks entry. I'm looking forward to leaving.